Comic transcript

[Boyfriend and Girlfriend are in bed and she is recalling his four stages of sleep]
Girlfriend: First, the lie: I am not asleep
[Boyfriend is asleep and saying he is awake]
Girlfriend: Second, guess guess: snoring or farting
[Boyfriend is asleep and is both snoring and farting at the same time]
Girlfriend: Third, the acrobat: everything hurts in the morning
[Boyfriend is sleeping in a terrible position]
Girlfriend: Fourth, I can't sleep: why do I exist? (And my girlfriend doesn't get part of the blanket)
[Boyfriend is now fully awake and staring and has taken all the blanket for himself]